So why are we still fixated on measuring how much of an adult we are by how closely we’re falling in line with the values of the generations that preceded ours?
Because the truth about the concept of ‘adulting’ is that if you have to measure it by which possessions you own and which milestone you’ve hit, you’re probably coming at it from a place of intense insecurity.
Being an adult doesn’t mean having a pinterest-porn living room and an engagement ring resting on your finger.
Being an adult means knowing yourself. It means listening to your own needs. It means understanding which kind of lifestyle you want to be living and then pursuing it unapologetically.
Sometimes being an adult means getting married and having a kid, but other times it means the total opposite. Sometimes it means traveling long-term. Sometimes it means frequent career shifts. Sometimes, being an adult just means having the bravery to say, ‘I choose the life that I want over the life that I’m expected to have and I’m happy with that. I’m living with my own definition of integrity.’
Because at the end of the day, the most mature thing any of us can ever do is to know ourselves. To trust ourselves. To understand that even when our wants and needs differ from the desires of the people around us, they’re still valid. They’re still meaningful. They’re still there.
And to allow ourselves the honesty to grow into the exact kind of adult that we want to become.